To "Protect my Peace"

To "Protect my Peace"

Lbena T-Michael 

Preface

I hold my head under water.

I struggle for air. 

Picture me;

The manifestation of my own nightmare. 

Tripping over steps taken. 

Stumbling on the ground I create.

Blaming it on God like He’s the reason for my state. 

I state the obvious 

and repeat it too, 

“I’m protecting my peace”. 

Main Body

Please, I beg of you.

Don’t make me cry over hostility.

I don’t care much for opposition.

I prefer my tea just warm enough to soothe the tongue - 

But never to burn.

And a drizzle of honey because bitterness was never my flavour.

I welcome the morning rays of the sun - 

Granting my day of blessings.

And cherish the moon for its comforting farewell… 

Drifting into a dream state…

I state the obvious. 

And repeat it too,

“I’m protecting my peace”.

I’ve broken bread over those words.

Became immune to its cadence.

But, what does it mean, even?

I refuse to choke on words I don’t believe in.

But, I’m shifting focus away from people grieving. 

Offering a blind eye to those barely breathing. 

All to “protect my peace”.

Drowning in a sea of choice

I’ve chosen to save myself.

“Save thyself” 

They say to feed selfish mouths. 

And I now acknowledge that I am full - 

But more than that I acknowledge I am a fool.

Begging for softness while wearing a shield of cruel.

Perhaps my tea should burn my fearful tongue. 

For when honey can’t cut the bitterness of what's to come -  

Exposing this falsity of solace.

So, I state the obvious. 

And repeat it too,

“I’m protecting my peace”

But is it my peace, or a silence I choose?

Epilogue

I hold my head under water.

I struggle for air.

Picture me,

The manifestation of my own nightmare. 

Tripping over steps taken. 

Stumbling on the ground I create.

Blaming it on God like He’s the reason for my state. 

I state the obvious 

and repeat it too, 

“I’m protecting my peace”.