MY PICK
OF THE MONTH
Let's stop pretending like I update this monthly...
Lbena's
Top
Pick
My top pick of the month is Solace in Misery - a Truth No Longer.
What does it mean to be miserable? Misery feels like an out-of-body, out-of-our-control emotion. This poem explores the manifestation of misery. Sadness, or any "negative" emotion, tends to be dismissed, but I believe we should recognize and celebrate the wide range of emotions that make up the human condition. I find power in writing about sadness just as much as in my "uplifting" poetry. To write about sadness is to understand it, and to understand your emotions demonstrates intelligence. Of course, no one wants to exist in sadness forever, but experiencing momentary blips or even prolonged exposure to it is inevitable. I'm an advocate for feeling your feelings instead of suppressing them—for existing in your emotions rather than hiding them. By allowing yourself to feel, you unlock a path to recovery. You cannot heal from traumas if you don’t validate them, and validation must come in the form of internalized empathy. In short, if you feel sad, feel sad! Exist in whatever emotion you feel so that you can turn a new leaf.
The flip side of this is knowing how much sorrow is healthy. There is comfort in making something a habit, and the same applies to emotions. Falling into the habit of being sad without doing the work to process and tackle its origins is dangerous. Like any other habitual vice, it can consume you, stripping you of autonomy and taking you as a prisoner. This poem touches on the power misery can have and the importance of relinquishing its hold over your will. Being introspective and actively working to resolve the roots of misery is essential in preventing it from becoming a habit. Do not let your emotions rule you by leaving traumas as unresolved wounds.
Solace in Misery - a Truth No Longer.
My pick of the month is My Wish For You because of a revelation I came about today. I'm afraid I don't know how to voice my thoughts or find the words to laminate in this blog post beyond what I've already conveyed in my poem. If you were to ask me how I feel about you, this is my response...
I've exhausted my ability to hold contempt and feeling. In other words, the nothingness I've reserved for you is my mind and body's last resort. If I could tell myself this months ago - the me that was enamoured - the me that was sensitive to every move you made - the me that jumped at every opportunity to forgive but also critic in the name of health and prosperity for a relationship that never truly was - I would have been utterly distraught and would have felt a sense of complete repugnance toward myself for such a callous perspective for an individual that offered me pleasure and joy to last a lifetime... or so I thought. I would have been totally against my stance of neutrality because I'm a huge proponent of believing it to be a blessing to feel - a privilege to experience life in its truest and fullest form - and what is life without emotion, passion... hatred even? How can indifference be an option if I believe in the human condition to express and harbour vehemence as well as value my capacity to feel and often to a deep and profound extent? How could I be so cold? How could I allow someone who meant so much to me...mean nothing?...
I've reflected on this thought for 12 days lol and my conclusion is that my self worth trumps any love I've had for those who do not value me. And my value is a limitless concept upheld by God and maintained by me. So the answer to my question, how could I be so cold, is to conserve my self worth in protest against the internal war on dignity and respect.
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MY PICK
OF THE MONTH
Nomadic - A Dialogue Part 2
Lbena's
Top
Pick
Nomadic - A Dialogue Part 2
My pick of the month is Nomadic - A dialogue Part 2, because it speaks to the impermanence of things due to one's inability to maintain. To maintain is challenging. To maintain is demanding. What makes something worth it? Is consistency a product of effort or does it yield from the mere desire of outcome? Is the answer simple? - and if so, why is maintaining consistency not simple?
This piece is from the perspective of an emotional nomadic individual. This position is where I've often found myself. The sadness of causing pain from my absence is internally frustrating. The speaker is aware of their inability to be present and their contradictory actions. Emotions are fleeting. Time is fleeting. Transience lasts - and it's for this dichotomous fact, that harbours attachment insecurity on both the speaker and the victim.
Another layer: who is the victim? Is it the speaker or their past lover? Clearly we know the speaker is troubled - so does this make them a victim of their own deficiency and emotional unavailability? Or, does the endurance of pain inflicted upon the past lover fall them victim to their own faulty desires of attachment and consistency? Perhaps, the past lover will become a product of the speaker's demise and adopt the same nomadism. A cycle caused by trauma that materializes as a defence mechanism.
I believe it is the human condition to experience being on both sides of this poem.